Reading all your thoughts on ‘The modern day Muroora’ got me really excited. I love it when women talk, when we share our experiences and allow other women to learn from them. The best part comes when we realise we are not alone in our experiences. We connect. I feel like we don’t talk enough though, especially as african women. I mean we talk a lot, but we don’t talk enough about the real stuff, everything else we deal with behind the clothes, nails, heels, recipes and weaves.
I feel it’s a massive gap in our culture. You have so much support leading up to the Lobola and the wedding (almost too much of it), the next day you are perekwad or taken to your in- laws, then everyone goes back to their life and you’re sort of left to your own devices in this new environment. Over night you go from being girl to wife. You are expected to adjust, just as our mothers did. But was it the same for her as it was for me? A Perfect example, I was one of the first to get married in my group of friends, so when we’d go to Zim I’d find myself in situations where my friends would be texting me like ‘are you coming out tonight’ or on group chat talking about ‘see you 7.30, we’ll do dinner’, apa I’d be mid kumona sadza in my mother in law’s kitchen, the lounge full of unexpected visitors here to see Muroora. You would quickly come to the realisation that you’re not going anywhere and it would likely be the second night in a row where you’ve had to bail on the girls after promising them a girls night out. You don’t want to loose the O.G “Mati” but your priorities have changed as well as doubled. You’re trying not to let anyone down but yet you find yourself constantly feeling guilty.
Speaking of going out, it had been a while so I was pretty excited about this upcoming 30th. Once again I hadn’t planned anything and last minute remembered this LPD ( little pink dress) that I hadn’t worn yet. Another one from Klassic Designs to add to my wardrobe. It’s either leg or cleavage for me and this dress has both so I chose leg and paired it with this Christopher Graf throwback vintage inspired jacket that a special friend from work gave me. If this jacket doesn’t say woman I don’t know what will.
It’s safe to say my transition was more trial and error as well as research and development! Lets save that for the next blog post shall we. Keen to hear about your transition though.